Importance of taking time for yourself

Taking time for yourself is easier said than done. I am sure everyone is guilty of not taking enough time for themselves and I am definitely guilty of it myself. Since I not only have to worry about making sure the kids are looked after, but I also have the much more difficult task of making sure Shawn is looked after. It is not as easy as having a mother or mother in law come and stay for a few days, like you could with the kids. It is much more complex and detailed because Shawn has a very busy therapy schedule, personal support worker schedule, medication schedule and just the necessary skill to be able to transfer him and tend to any required medical and personal need at any time. I have to make sure trained personnel are with him during the day up until he goes to bed. For any overnights that I am away, we have been fortunate that family members and friends have stepped up and helped out. Most of the overnights have always been to attend one of the kid's out of town sporting events or a weekend trip to visit family just a few hours away. Just recently I took a long overdue "respite" vacation with one of my closest friends and my daughter. As much as it was wonderful to get away and de-stress, it was only a couple days in that I really missed Shawn and the boys and couldn't wait to get back to them. It feels like the amount of preparation and planning it takes to get away for some respite time may not be worth it. However, I think without a break and alittle time away I would most definitely suffer from some caregiver burnout. Plus it makes me miss them that much more!

Today I am thankful for so much.

Well since today it is Thanksgiving and without sounding cheesy, I really do have a lot to be thankful. As much as life has been traumatic and stressful these last few years, at least I still have my family together to celebrate it with. I have known many families over the years through the brain injury world that have had significantly harder struggles than we have had. For those that I have met over the years, whether at the hospital, during rehab or even at the multiple brain injury events and conferences I have attended, I think of them often. I read a quote recently that put so much in perspective, and made me appreciate and be thankful for what I have and not for what I have lost. The quote was "The things you take for granted. Someone else is praying for".  There are families out there that I have met personally that would give anything to hear their loved one speak or even express themselves non-verbally, be able to move around independently in their wheelchair and most importantly be able to have them at home but cannot due to the overwhelming medical needs. So yes, I am thankful today because my husband can do all of those things and we can live our lives together in our "new normal". 

Things are finally moving in the right direction

In my last blog entry I wrote about this new chapter in Shawn's rehab on the Physio side. I have to mention that this isn't necessarily a new chapter, but a bit of a catch up to where he was when we left the city we used to live. In past blogs, I wrote about the challenges we have encountered since moving and this is another perfect example. His new PT actually apologized to Shawn that there has been an interruption in his physio and lost some of the gains that took years to accomplish. However, we don't want to look back but look forward. We talked about short and long term goals and in those long term goals was the word "walking". Not walking like losing the wheelchair but actually the possibility of taking 1-15 steps with assistance with a quad cane. I am so excited that this may be something that could be accomplished. It has been so long since anyone thought this was even possible for Shawn. It brought such hope back for the both of us, especially him. I think a part of him had given up on it ever being possible. He worked harder in that first one hour session than I have seen from him in over a year. I am very excited to be able to share this new chapter with everyone as it has brought back a bright light that seemed to be dimming over the last few years. 

Having hope

Just this past week Shawn and I had a chance to meet with a Physiotherapist that just started her practice specializing in brain injury.  You go to these initial meetings, post injury of 6 years, and you know you are less optimistic than you were in the beginning. I sat in this meeting feeling like the person I was so critical of just a few years ago. This new therapist was so full of life and energy and she talked about all the things she was going to try to get Shawn to do. As I sat there listening, I thought about how it had all been tried before without much success.  A few times I interjected and let her know how attempts had been made with her suggested course of treatment and it was unsuccessful. Then I stopped myself because I realized I had lost a bit of the drive and passion and hope I had a few years back. Just because it has been 6 years doesn't mean that gains aren't still possible. I think about his progress with his speech and how people are still telling us how clear and easier to understand he has become since just 6 months ago.  So why can't the physical deficits have the same improvements after all these years. This just may be the time to try all those failed attempts at the standing and walking he tried in the early days. I found myself having hope again and it is the most amazing feeling.